A Frying Pan Can Mend It All
by LondonWitch
Summary: Lily's always wanted to hit James over the head with a frying pan. So she formulates a plan to actually do it - and to tell James that she likes him at the same time. LEP and JP, HP and GW. Finished.
1. I Never Liked You, Anyway

**A Frying Pan Can Mend It All**

_by LondonWitch_

A/N: This is an absurd title, but I quite like it. This shall be a short story, probably only two or three chapters long. But it shall be a good one – I hope. I don't own these characters, or the claim of inventing the frying pan, but I do own the plot. You may only use my plot if you are J.K. Rowling, and you have to have at least four legal documents to prove it. :-)

**Chapter One: "I Never Liked You, Anyway."**

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As it is, and has been for many, many years, girls are always much more mature than boys. _Much_ more mature. So it wasn't any surprise to the entire student body of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry that on Sunday morning, James Potter walked up to Lily Evans and stuck his tongue out at her.

"That was _incredibly _childish, Potter," Lily pointed out, having no clue as to why he was standing here with his tongue out at her. She had been having a rather important discussion with her friends Molly Prewitt and Sara Ashenbaum, about a very challenging Charms class, and wanted to get back to it.

"Yes, but it was fun, anyway, Evans. I see no reason why you should bore us all with your 'intellectual' conversations every morning. So I'm afraid I must put a stop to it. We have better things to do than to listen to you – like _eating_, so that we can get to our Quidditch games on time."

Lily just gave a great snort, and replied, "How is my talking going to affect your eating? I know that you still have a humongous mouth that will fit anything you shove into it, even if your brain is on letdown." She tossed her long mane of red hair over her shoulder, and turned back to her conversation and her plate.

James shoved her books off of the seat next to her and sat down. "Look at it this way, Evans. If no one can talk or hear over your chatterbox of a mouth, then how will Sirius know that I want him to pass me the butter and marmalade? I certainly can't eat my toast without my butter and marmalade."

Sirius was standing behind them, as he had walked over after James had sat down. "He's got a point there, Evans. Who would want to eat their toast dry?"

By now everyone in the Great Hall was watching them, and since everyone was there eating breakfast before the big Gryffindor/Ravenclaw Quidditch match, the whole school was hearing this. Several people laughed at Sirius' response, but Lily just said coolly as she glanced over to where they had been sitting with Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, "I see that the bowl of porridge is right in front of your spot. Perhaps you should eat _that_ instead."

Lily got a small round of applause for this, and in disgust, James and Sirius walked back to their seats. "Who does she think she is, that Evans?" James said, with a sarcastic tone, and a bit of haughtiness, "She doesn't see that I'm trying to IMPRESS HER! Hey, Evans! I never liked you, anyway!"

James' yell to of those last few words caused Lupin's head to snap up from the book he was reading, and Peter to come out of his daydream of being a half rat-half man. Even Sirius stopped staring at a tall brunette across the Hall.

"Why aren't any of you paying attention? We have a huge Quidditch match coming up and all you can think about is – hey, she does have a cute smile," James cut himself off as he glanced at the brunette that Sirius had been looking at. "But that's not the point. The point is that I am a star Seeker and a – erm – 'good' student, and she doesn't even think I'm worthwhile."

"She's a Muggle-born, Potter. What's so impressive about her?" Peter asked, tearing a pancake into small bits as he spoke.

"Who cares if she's a Muggle-born? That's not important!" James cried, throwing his hands up in anguish. "The important part is that she's pretty, she's nice to everyone but me and Snivellus Snape, and she's a good student. Did I mention that's she's pretty?"

Lupin sighed and started to go back to his book, but James pulled the hefty book out of his hands and said, "Now's not the time. Would you like to see my list of reasons why I like Lily Evans?" As Lupin began to roll his eyes, James pulled out a long piece of parchment from his robe pocket.

"Number one – she's pretty. Number two – she likes Honeydukes. Number three – she's pretty. Number –"

"**ENOUGH!** We all know she's pretty, James! Now are you going to play Quidditch or not?" Sirius said, indicating around them to the fact that everyone had already left for the pitch.

"Oh God!" James jumped out of his seat, hurriedly stuffed the lengthy list back into his pocket, and broke out into a run for the castle doors. Sirius and Pettigrew were laughing at him, and Lupin was trying to figure out why he was missing several feet of parchment from his History of Magic essay. They had literally been cut off.

"Oy! James! Did you use my essay for your list?! James! JAMES?!" Lupin yelled, running after him out of the Hall, through the front doors, and down the grounds to the Quidditch pitch.

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A/N: Someone observing will notice something I mentioned in the second paragraph. If you spot it, let me know in a review. I always enjoy seeing how clever people really are. (Yeah, right.)


	2. It's Best To Start Running Now

**A Frying Pan Can Mend It All**

_by LondonWitch_

A/N: Chapter one? Check. Chapter two? Er – I'm working on it. In the meantime, give me twenty push-ups and an essay on why I don't own J.K. Rowling's characters. Don't forget the part about how I only own the plot.

**Chapter Two: It's Best To Start Running. Now.**

* * *

"Guess what time it is?! _GUESS_!" James shouted at the top of his lungs into the crowd, "It's time for the _VICTORY DANCE_!" With that, he jumped off of the table where he had been standing and began to do a cross between the Macarena and the Chicken Dance that involved several whoops.

After the Quidditch match had been won by Gryffindor, 230 to 160, the whole house had trooped back to the Common Room to celebrate. Of course, James was a little out of hand. Not that that was unusual, by any circumstances. Sirius eagerly joined in on the Victory Dance, even though he wasn't a part of the Quidditch team. Lupin just stared at them, and Wormtail was a bit preoccupied with his Butterbeer.

The music in the room (provided by a bewitched boombox, courtesy of Sirius) was almost shaking the floor, and everyone was having a good time. Until a certain Prefect by the name of Lily Michelle Evans decided to break it up.

"Now, who here knows what tomorrow is for the seventh years? Anyone? _ANYONE?!_" Lily shouted as she flipped the switch to the large black boombox. The music ceased, and everyone gazed blankly at her with horrified expressions. "Tomorrow," she continued, "Is the first day of N.E.W.T. testing. And O.W.L. testing for the fifth years. I suggest that you all study – right NOW."

James walked over to her with a smug expression on her face. "Well what if we don't want to, Little Miss Bossy-Pants? Huh? HUH? **HUH**?! You can't make us do anything if we don't want to do it."

"Correction, Potter. I am a Prefect and you are not, which does mean that I do have the power to tell you what to do. I am perfectly allowed to stop this little shingding, so that some of us may STUDY!" Lily yelled in his ear. James winced, and Lily turned to the crowd, "Now, if you don't mind, I will be taking that – " she grabbed the boombox, "– and will be getting Professor McGonagall if this continues. I have studying to do for the O.W.L.s tomorrow."

She picked up her schoolbag, and began to march out of the Common Room with the boombox still in tow. Then she turned and added, "It's best to start running, James. _Now_." Then she left.

Everyone turned to James, who was pretty much the most popular boy in Gryffindor. He usually had a solution.

"Well, er, we could always – sing?" James ventured, cocking his head to one side. Sirius threw a pillow from one of the couches at him, and several people groaned. "What? You have a better suggestion?"

And with that, he sighed and nodded at Lupin, who stood up and began to conduct everyone in a loud round of 'Michael, Row Your Boat Ashore.' Until someone stopped singing, raised their hand, and suggested the song 'The Itsy-Bitsy Spider', instead.

_Meanwhile..._

Lily had taken the boombox to Filch, and then had gone to the library to study in peace and quiet. She was pleased to find that Molly and Sara had decided to follow her, and soon the trio were immersed in all sorts of thick books.

Molly looked up for a moment, and was surprised to see that Lily wasn't studying, but staring off into space with a confused look on her face. "What's up, Lils? Why aren't you studying for that Transfiguration O.W.L. tomorrow?"

The auburn-haired Lily sighed, and turned to smile at her friend. "It's nothing. It's – well, he's driving me nuts."

"Potter?" inquired Sara, pausing in her reading as well.

Lily nodded. "He's rude, but then he's nice. And he seems to like me – I think. Oh, I don't know _what _to do. Half of the time I want to grab him and just kiss him, and the other half of the time I want to whack him over the head with a frying pan."

The three girls laughed, but quieted down immediately when Madam Pince sent them a sharp glance from the reception desk. "You know, that's not a bad idea," mused Molly, twirling a strand of red hair aound her finger while she talked.

"What? How?" Lily asked bewilderedly.

Molly proceeded in a whisper to tell them what exactly the benefits of a frying pan were. Lily grinned, and grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill. She was the kind of person that needed a list of exactly what was going on, and what she was going to do next. The girls began to formulate a plan for getting James Potter to mature quite a bit.

**_'1.) Talk to the house-elves._**

**_2.) Get ahold of a frying pan._**

**_3.) Have that brunette girl distract Sirius._**

**_4.) Get Sara to talk to Lupin and Peter._**

**_5.) Make James start running._**

**_6.) Catch up with James._**

**_7.) Hit him over the head._**

**_8.) Talk sense into him.'_**

"Wait. Why can't you just talk to him now? Why do you have to hit him over the head with a really heavy cooking utensil?" Sara asked, staring at the list.

"Because it's fun, and because he'll know that I mean business. Come on – how badly could it hurt him?" Lily smiled.

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A/N: Would anyone be brave enough to let me hit them with a frying pan? So that I'd accurately know how to describe how James' head will hurt in the next chapter? Anyone at all? Aw, you guys are no fun. :-)


	3. In Which Someone Is Severely Bonked On T...

**A Frying Pan Can Mend It All**

_by LondonWitch_

A/N: I have a list of things that I must get done today (I am moving next week), but I really wanted to write this chapter. I mean, who really wants to sand the wallpaper off of the bathroom wall? (I'm not joking.) Sadly, no one volunteered to be hit on the head by the time I sat down at my computer, so I am just going to have to go by the memory of being hit on the head with a large book. The usual disclaimer applies. Sigh.

**Chapter Three: In Which Someone Is Severely Bonked On The Head**

* * *

"Here you are, miss. One standard-sized metal frying pan, the non-stick kind. That's so we can get the scrambled eggs off of it more easily, miss," said the house-elf in his squeaky voice as he handed Lily the frying pan. Lily has snuck into the kitchens while everyone else was at dinner on Sunday evening. It was numbers one and two on the 'master list'.

"Thank you very much – er – what did you say your name was, again?" Lily asked politely as she walked towards the portrait hole to leave the kitchens.

"House-elf Dookins, miss. And we are very happy that you asked, miss, since we are here only to serve," said the strange little creature. He bowed her out of the kitchen, along with about two dozen other elves that seemed to have nothing better to do than wait on Lily hand and foot.

"That was odd," Lily said to herself after the portrait of a fruit bowl had swung closed behind her. She'd found out about how to get into the kitchens from none other than James and Sirius, quite awhile ago in their second year (this was their fifth) – she doubted that _anyone_ in the future would ever be as troublesome and as big as pranksters as those two were. But who knew? Maybe some boys could eventually give them a run for their money.

From there, Lily went up to the Common Room to meet Sara and Molly. Molly had arranged for that brunette girl that Sirius fancied to meet with him at the library, and Sara was going to distract Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew by talking. She was very good at going on and on, and no one really ever had the heart to interrupt.

When Lily arrived, she saw that everything was in place. Even James was cooperating – although he didn't know it – as he was sitting on one of the Common Room couches, reading a book entitled: 'Quidditch for Morons and Everyone Else.' Lily had to bite her lip to keep from laughing out loud.

She nodded to Sara, who was sitting on the steps that led to the girl's dorms, and Sara walked over to where Lupin was studying and Peter was, well, being Peter and dreaming about the half-man half-rat thing. Lily went and sat down next to James. He looked over at her in surprise.

"What are you _doing_, Evans? I'm trying to read, in case you're blind or something," James said, glaring at her. He was very befuddled as to why the girl of his dreams, who happened to hate him (or at least that's what he thought), was sitting next to him here in the Common Room.

"Wondering why you're not taking a walk outside on such a beautiful day like this. The stars are shining, there's a slight breeze – and you're in here, _reading_." Lily replied, twiddling her thumbs all the while. She glanced over at Sara and the other two boys – they were listening to her drone on about some vacation to Germany she'd taken several years ago. Lupin's eyes had aqquired a glazed look, and Peter was daydreaming yet again.

"Are you feeling alright, Evans? Why are you suddenly so interested in me and what I'm doing inside? And in the weather?" James questioned, his eyebrows furrowed. He set down the book and stood up. "You know, maybe I will take a walk," he seized the opportunity and added, "Want to come?"

"Don't mind if I do," Lily replied cheerfully, and she grabbed up her schoolbag from where she had set it down next to the couch. It contained only one thing – that very heaving cooking utensil that most people call a frying pan.

_About fifteen minutes later, after walking around the lake twice..._

"Hey James, I have a question," Lily said. They had been walking and making polite conversation for awhile now, and it was Lily's time to strike – literally. James couldn't figure out why Lily was being so nice to him, and Lily was surprised that James hadn't said one rude thing yet.

"Yeah?"

"Why aren't you running?"

"What do you mean, _run_ – oh."

Lily had pulled out the frying pan and was holding it up so that James could see it. It worked, as he stopped talking and was now running around the lake for dear life, trying as hard as he could to get away from her. Lily whipped out her wand and whispered, "Slothus." James could no longer run, but only jog. He was screaming nonsense words as loud as he possibly could. Lily caught up to him easily.

"Lily! WHAT ARE YOU –"

_**BONK!**_ The frying pan connected with James' skull and he fell to the ground. Lily crossed her fingers and hoped that he wasn't unconscious. She set the frying pan gently in her schoolbag, but not before checking it to see if he'd left a dent. He had – a very small one, but a dent nonetheless.

"James? Are you okay?" Lily asked quietly, kneeling down next to where he lay sprawled on the freshly-cut grass. She brushed some hair out of his face and peered at him interestedly. There was a large, throbbing, yellow-and-black lump on the back of his head.

"What – the – heck – was – **THAT** – for?!" James managed to get out, he was still a bit woozy, and was seeing not one but four of Lily. He began to grumble incoherently, but Lily spoke very loudly above him to be heard.

"Because I _LIKE_ you, James. I'm trying to knock some sense into you and get you to actually talk to me for a minute. I'm serious. And, because it was fun," she added, mocking him from earlier that morning when he'd stuck his tongue out at her.

"Oh, yeah,_ that_ makes sense," James said sarcastically, sitting up. Then he turned serious. "I'm sorry – I really actually like you, too. Since forever – and why would you never go out with me?"

Lily avoided that question and just said, "Really?"

"Yup."

"Well, in that case, I'm sorry for hurting you. Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing?" Lily asked sweetly, helping him to his feet. She brushed some grass off of her jeans as she spoke.

"No, I think I'm okay. But I've got a great idea now," said James as he grabbed her hand. They began to walk up towards the castle together. Lily pulled out the frying pan and showed him the dent. He laughed.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Let's just say it involves Sirius, that brunette from Hufflepuff, and one of those pots that the house-elves cook oatmeal in."

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A/N: Was this chapter great? Was it horrible? Was it just alright? Please review, if you're a nice person and you don't want to be hit on the head with a cookie sheet by me. Did anyone catch that there may someday be boys to give Sirius and James a run for their money? Cough – WEASLEY TWINS – cough. :-)


	4. Epilouge: Cookie Sheet!

**A Frying Pan Can Mend It All**

_by LondonWitch_

A/N: I never really understood all those fancy words – epilogue, prologue, stuff like that. But I'm just going to go by what my dictionary tells me. And whatever my best friends say, they're better spellers than I am. I'm not the creator of these characters, but I do own the fantastic, inspiring, wonderful – what was I talking about? Oh, yes... - the plot.

**Epilogue: Cookie Sheet?!**

* * *

Dumbledore was making a church-and-steeple motion with his fingertips as he surveyed Harry and Ginny over his glasses. The two teenagers were sitting before him and looking rather puzzled as to why they had been summoned to the Headmaster's office. All they had talked about so far was the weather and one of Harry's recent charms that had backfired.

"Professor Dumbledore, sir, what's the _real_ reason you brought us here? I'm pretty certain it's not the charm, because then you would have had no purpose to pull Ginny in as well. And I don't think you really care about the weather." Harry said logically, glancing at Ginny. She was staring at the Headmaster with her eyebrows raised and one of those I've-Got-Better-Things-To-Do-Than-Talk-About-A-Bad-Charm looks.

The man sighed, and adjusted his glasses. He wanted to help the pair come to a realization about themselves, but how to get to the point? Albus looked at Harry, and he looked at Ginny. Then he said quietly, "I think I have a story that might interest you."

Neither said anything, and Dumbledore continued. "You two bare a remarkable resemblance to Harry's parents – that is to say that Harry looks like James, and that Ginny resembles Lily. Now, I've set up many a couple in my time, but Lily and James managed to figure it out by themselves. Let's say that involved James' head, a stroll around the lake, various ways to distract James' friends, and a frying pan."

"My father hit my mother on the head with a **FRYING PAN**!?" Harry said loudly, not believing what he was hearing. He always thought that his parents had been rational people – until now. Ginny elbowed him in the side and hissed, "You've got it backwards, I think. And keep _quiet_; I want to hear the rest of the story."

Harry winced as Dumbledore picked up again. The old man had jumped three feet in the air when Harry had basically yelled at him, but he nonetheless went on with the story. "You see, your mother hit him in the head to 'knock some sense into him'. And then they talked rationally for a bit, and then James suddenly matured and wasn't rude to Lily anymore. And James wasn't hurt badly – although the frying pan had a small dent, if I remember it right." The Headmaster chuckled.

"What's your _point_, Professor?" Ginny asked, leaning forward in her chair a little. She didn't see how this would affect herself or Harry in any way.

"My point," Dumbledore smiled at her, "Is that is worked, Miss Weasley. It _worked_. They admitted how they felt. And, so, I just thought you two would find that interesting." He got up and shuffled the students from his office.

As the staircase spiraled back down to the hallway, Ginny thought about that very hard. And then it hit her – she knew exactly what she had to do. Exactly why Dumbledore had just told them that. She just hoped that Harry would catch on when the time was right, and not too soon before.

It looked as if that wasn't going to be a problem, as Harry still didn't understand the gist of that conversation. "What was **THAT** about? That made _NO_ sense, and I'm supposed to be at Quidditch practice right now! I'm the Captain! And Ron's taking over for me right now and I suppose he'll just do _something_ stupid and then our chances for the cup will be ruined and – "

Ginny cut him off with a loud, "I KNOW, Harry. I'm on the team too, remember? Does the word 'Chaser' ring a bell?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I think we should probably get to practice now," added Harry as they made their way through the front entry hall that had access to the front doors and the Great Hall, as well as several classrooms.

"You – you go on ahead," Ginny said, stopping in her tracks, "I have to grab something from my room." She was obviously lying, and Harry looked at her kindly and asked, "Do you want me to wait?"

The girl shook her head and watched Harry go out the front doors. As soon as he was out of sight, she dashed back up the hall and down a secret corridor to the entrance to the kitchens. Being Fred and George's little sister counted for a lot around Hogwarts. Ginny suspected there _would_ never be anyone – had never _been_ anyone – that could give those two a run for their money.

"Dobby - I need to borrow a cookie sheet," Ginny gasped, out of breath from the running. She clutched her hand to a stitch in her side, but continued. "_And_ a frying pan, please."

The house-elf stared at her curiously, but then just shook his head to himself and snapped his fingers twice. Two little house-elves came running up with the items that Ginny had requested.

"Does this have anything to do with Mr. Harry Potter's head, Missus Ginny?" Dobby asked curiously as he handed her the cookie sheet and frying pan, "Because Dobby has heard from his great uncle house-elf Dookins that Missus Potter hit Mr. Potter on his head with the frying pan."

Ginny just laughed, said a quick thank-you, and raced back to the front hall, out the doors, and down to the Quidditch field. She could see all of the Gryffindor team players high above her, excluding herself, and it looked like Harry was trying yet another new play. She yelled for him to come down. Ron started to follow, but Ginny sent him a glare, and he turned around his broom and flew back up to rejoin the rest of the team.

"What's up, Gin?" Harry asked as he landed beside her. He dismounted, glanced up at Ron to make sure he wasn't murdering the team members, and then turned to Ginny.

She had out a frying pan and a cookie sheet, one in each hand. Ginny waggled them back and forth, and then said, "It's your choice. Which one would you like to get hit with?"

Harry's eyes widened, he understood everything Dumbledore had told them, now. "What – you – really? Do you like me? Are you **serious**?"

Ginny blushed and nodded.

"Good, cause I want to hit you over the head with a heavy metal cooking utensil, too," Harry laughed, grabbing the cookie sheet. Ginny took one look at him and started running in the opposite direction. Harry chased her, yelling something about 'why didn't you just kiss me instead?'

Ron watched them for a minute, and then said to the team, all of whom were eyeing Harry and Ginny, "Now, can anyone tell me why those two are chasing each other with frying pans and cookie sheets? You can leave practice early if you have the right answer..."

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A/N: Finished. What was the part that made you laugh the hardest? Please read my other stories, **Not Your Ordinary Love Story** and **Now and Again**. The first will make you laugh, the second is fluff. :-)


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